


How to Get Yourself Arrested for Breaking and Entering (Into Your Own House): A Guide by Merlin Emrys.

by rainbow_nerds



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur is a Prat, Everything is good, Gen, merlin is unlucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-03
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-29 18:05:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5137478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbow_nerds/pseuds/rainbow_nerds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin has always had bad luck, which is why he is not surprised when he finds himself locked out of his house.<br/>He knows how to deal with these situations, but this time things may just be out of his control..</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Get Yourself Arrested for Breaking and Entering (Into Your Own House): A Guide by Merlin Emrys.

How to get yourself arrested for breaking and entering (into your own house): A guide by Merlin Emrys. 

 

Step one: Get yourself locked out. 

 

Merlin had a habit of getting himself into awkward and unfortunate situations. He got himself stuck behind the wardrobe just last week, and the week before that he had been cycling to Gwen’s when he pedalled over what he had thought was just a few leaves, but had turned out to be a very nice gift from one of the neighbourhood dogs, which had, of course, then splattered onto his back.

Merlin was definitely not a lucky person. 

Which is why, when he left the house without his phone or keys, he should have expected Gaius to go out and lock the door behind him. Because that’s just how things happen for Merlin. He got home and realised quickly what had happened. Gaius never left a door unlocked.

 

Step 2: Try to get back in.

 

This was a situation which Merlin had, naturally, found himself in more than once. It was for this reason that he never fully closed his bedroom window. It may not have been the easiest one to get to, being practically on the roof, but it was the only one which would be open. Because this was Merlin, and things could never be easy, could they?

He moved around the side of the house, fining the spot he knew would be easiest to climb, with the bins against the wall and a (surprisingly sturdy) pipe going up to the roof. For the first time since coming home from college for the summer, he wished he was back in college. At least if he was in his tiny dorm room and forgot his key, he could just show his college ID to the security guard, and be given a spare. It may have happened more than once. 

Just as he was pulling himself up onto the roof, thanking whatever deity there was for the school gym teachers forcing him to learn how to climb, he heard a shout from below, and almost came crashing down again.

 

Step 3: Have an elderly neighbour with a bad memory and 911 on speed dial. 

 

Poor Mrs. Robbins, she didn’t mean any harm. All she knew was that there was someone dressed all in black scaling the wall of the house across the way, the one that belonged to the kind man who brought her arthritis remedies. So she did the only thing she could, and called 911. 

Merlin’s luck being what it was, there happened to be an officer on patrol nearby, who swung by just in time to see Merlin reach for the window. 

“Don’t take another step!”

“But this is my house! I’m not breaking in, I live here!”

"Of course you do, and I live in bloody Buckingham palace. Prefer taking the scenic route inside rather than simply, oh, I don’t know, opening the door? Come down from the roof with your hands up!”

 

Step 4: talk back to the police officer.

 

“How in the bloody hell to you expect me to climb down, while keeping my hands up? Make up your mind!”

He sat on the edge of the roof and looked down. If he fell it would be entirely this near sighted, obnoxious prat of a police officer’s fault. 

And then he almost did fall.

 

Step five: Realise how fucking attractive this asshole officer is.

 

“Just get the hell down here!” 

Merlin didn’t think it through, but before he had even decided he should probably do what this guy said, he was on the ground, ankle twinging slightly from where he had jumped from the bins in his fumbling descent.

Once again, Merlin cursed his luck. Of course he would get landed with this stupidly attractive police officer, being pushed into a squad car (Honestly why would nobody listen to his explanation it was all just a misunderstanding Jesus Christ.) and being transported immediately to the station. At this point, Merlin was just glad he wasn’t thrown into an interrogation room, or even a cell.

Once again, he tried to explain himself, and this time The Prat (he introduced himself as Arthur, but Merlin preferred prat) did listen to him, but laughed so much at the story that Merlin found himself wishing he was still being treated like a criminal. Git.

 

Step 6: Realise you are a total idiot.

 

Eventually, he got to call Gaius, who was probably more amused than Arthur (The Prat, merlin corrected himself) had been. 

“Merlin, I left the back door unlocked for you. Did you even try the handle?”

And, naturally, when he came to collect Merlin and sign off on some papers, he told this to the officer who was on duty. 

And, naturally, this officer was Arthur. 

“Let’s just go, okay, I think I’ve embarrassed myself enough for a lifetime at this point.”

“If I wasn’t used to your silliness at this point, Merlin, I don’t think I’d ever be!” Gaius was trying to be reassuring, but he was failing. “Besides, this isn’t as bad as that time you caught-“

“AND WE’RE GOING.” Merlin announced, face on fire, as he dragged Gaius to the door. If he never set foot in that police station again, it would be too soon. 

 

Step 7 (optional, but recommended): Realise it might have actually been worth it

 

Just as he was getting in the car, he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around, and saw none other than the Prat standing, somewhat awkwardly, behind him.

“You forgot your-” He held out the bag of groceries which Merlin had stepped out to get, and Merlin thanked him before turning away again. 

“You’re a bit of an idiot, you know.”

“I’m aware. And you’re a bit of a git, so I suppose we’re even.”

“I suppose you’re right.”

Merlin got into the car, and Gaius pulled out of the station. It wasn’t until he was (finally) at home, in his room, that Merlin discovered the phone number which had been scribbled on a piece of note paper and put in the grocery bag, with the name Arthur above it.

 

Merlin thought that maybe his luck wasn’t so bad after all.


End file.
